


For A Friend

by Ardwynna



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: F/M, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 02:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1802740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ardwynna/pseuds/Ardwynna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alone and confused, Sephiroth attempts to overcome insecurity and loss. Zack does not help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For A Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skeren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeren/gifts).



> Written a long time ago for someone who wanted to see a less than heroic take on Zack one day.

It was a day that could only end in tears. Sephiroth could not ignore the signs.

Zack was too happy. He had big plans. He was nearly dancing in the halls from the anticipation. 'Save it,' Sephiroth wanted to tell him. 'Wait till tomorrow.' But the General only held his tongue and steeled himself for what lay ahead.

Zack took off as soon as the clock said he could, shooting down the hall and out of the SOLDIER floor like a rocket. "Hot date?" someone called after him. Sephiroth tuned out Zack's reply.

He left shortly afterwards, taking his time to tidy up. He arranged his paperwork just so, checked that his inbox was clear and stood straightening his coat in the sheen of the door far longer than was necessary. 'Why?' he wanted to ask. 'Why her?' But it was not his place to interfere and Zack was long gone anyway.

Sephiroth went home, such as it was. His apartment was company-owned, too close by to offer real respite. As a home it was too cold, too sterile, too often vacant to live up to the meaning of the word. Once upon a time, there had been laughter there, heated discussions, fights and what constituted making up afterwards. But they were gone now and the puppy they'd left in their place had found somewhere else to be.

Sephiroth locked the door and stood in the dark. It would take a while. A few hours at most.

She was beautiful, he had heard. Zack talked even if he knew nobody was listening. Sephiroth didn't always listen but he heard. She was beautiful and kind and sweet and she had eased an ache in the puppy's soul that Sephiroth himself could not begin to touch. For that, he supposed, he should be grateful.

But she hurt Zack too, over and over, and Zack in turn…

It didn't matter. Women made a fuss of such things. Sephiroth had never understood, never would, and officially it had nothing to do with him. He would accept, he could support. It was what friends did, were supposed to do, and he was the elder now. The burden was on him.

He made his way to the couch with no more light than his own glowing eyes. The cushions still bore the moulded curves of another's body. Was it really just this short while? It seemed so long ago. The silence, though common here, felt unnatural too. Was that just from knowing that they would not come to fill it?

If he strained he could make himself believe that memory was a real echo. Pots clashed in the kitchen. Laughter echoed from the bath. Files were carelessly tossed aside in favor of making the mattress groan. Something stirred in him then. It died quickly.

Memory faded. The clock's glowing numbers marched in an endless circle, climbing higher and higher then falling back to the start. Wasn't he back to his start now? Before them, there had been silence and nothing, and he had been well content. It had been easier not knowing how voices could fill a space. Even the halls and barracks felt too spacious, too wide. There was something lacking that had once filled up the place. The rooms themselves had not changed, not since he'd been a boy, but he himself had. So many quirks and habits now that he hadn't had before, the looking around, seeking to meet eyes, the casual complaint. There was no one now to look back, no one to agree or distract. Maybe, then, Zack was his Zero, a place to start. He would do it right this time and not drive the boy away.

They hadn't left because of him, reason said. They'd had their own problems, things that were bigger than him, or them, or the whole planet. They'd had no choice.

They left him behind. Friend supported friend and he was not among them. Sephiroth sat alone on his old couch, in a cold, dark room and vowed to do better, since he could hardly do worse.

The knock on the door was urgent but Sephiroth did not rush. 'Why do you persist, Zack?' he wanted to ask. 'Why set yourself up for the blow?' He opened the door and Zack came barreling in. Silence fled.

"Can you believe it?" Zack groaned, rife with frustration. "She said 'no' again! Again! After getting me so worked up. I was practically at the gate already. I had the rubber on and everything and she said 'no'. I can't take this anymore! I wouldn't have minded if she'd turned me down after dinner, or even after the club, but she got me so worked up and then changed her mind! Why does she keep doing this to me?" Zack slammed his fists back against the door. "It hurts!" His voice broke. His face crumpled. He looked about to collapse from the strain.

Did the girl not know her cruelty, leading the boy on like this? Sephiroth wondered how Zack had walked with the pain. Sephiroth said nothing. He never knew the right thing to say. He was a friend, though, and he understood it better now. He could do for Zack what they had done for him, since Zack needed it so badly.

He never turned on the light. It would spoil the illusion. He would make no sound. His voice was too deep but his hair was long, and skill spoke better than words in the dark. He sank to his knees, careful not to lean on Zack's legs.

He was careful about handling the zipper. He kept his touch light on the belts. It wouldn't do for large, calloused hands to brush Zack's skin and make him remember. Zack was hard below, in discomfort, unsatisfied. Sephiroth closed his eyes so the glow would not show and swallowed Zack down.

He kept it light, his motions small. Perhaps this time was less hesitant than before, but she would be too by now, if she did not always say 'no'. Zack moaned, thighs tensing as they worked to brace against the door. Sephiroth chanced a look through a fall of hair. Zack's eyes were closed tight, his jaw clenched. His breath came in harsh gasps that were not unfamiliar. The sound echoed loud in Sephiroth's ears, but did not reach all the way down the hall. Zack moaned again, writhing against the door. Fingers clenched and fists tightened. Sephiroth shut his eyes quickly and readied himself.

They had the same hair, sort of. He had heard Zack say that. The same upswept fall of short locks at the front. Maybe that, and the strain, was why Zack liked to hold on so tight. Sephiroth couldn't pretend it was painless, but he'd had much worse. If it had been anyone else, anywhere else, he would have ordered a stop to the outrage, but Zack was his friend and his friend needed him. Not the General, just him.

His throat chose to tighten a moment before Zack thrust into it. Sephiroth held back the rising sound. Even in distress his voice would be too low. Zack would open his eyes and look and be angry and leave because Sephiroth's shoulders were broad and his body well-muscled and built distinctly otherwise from what Zack had in mind. But Zack needed this release and relief that the girl, for all that she soothed his grieving, would not give him. Sephiroth could deal.

Zack threw his head back, banging it against the door. He was close now. Sephiroth held his breath and let Zack's fierce grip guide him through the end. His scalp stung when Zack finally released him.

Sephiroth sank to the floor and allowed himself a soft sigh. He kept his eyes closed while he caught his breath and licked the last of the taste from his lips. Zack would be calmer now. He would be ready for other things, to laugh and talk and fill more than just the entry way with the sound and life of him.

"Shit," Zack murmured. Sephiroth kept his eyes closed and waited. "Uh, thanks again, I guess." His voice made it a question. Sephiroth nodded and waited some more. He heard the door hiss open, saw the light through closed lids. The door slid shut again and Sephiroth knew he was alone.

He opened his eyes and stared for a long while at the space where Zack had been. There was nothing to fill the room but the sound of his own breathing. 'Was it so bad?' he wanted to ask, but Zack never hung around long enough for that, and there was no room in the office or the field for that kind of thing between them.

Sweet Gongagan boy, Sephiroth thought, the puppy left behind for him to take care of, so strangely uneasy about things Sephiroth took for granted. He did not understand, but he could keep trying. He would be here the next time Zack needed a friend to lean on and maybe next time Zack would stay.

Sephiroth sank slowly closer to the floor, dry-eyed. He had not been built for tears.


End file.
